Answered Prayers

About a month ago my grandmother (the one I've been taking to church for the last few years) fell ill. She'd been struggling ever since - having good days and bad days as she fought off pneumonia. She wasn't in terrible shape, but at 97, it was pretty serious. She was hospitalized for about a week where she didn't get better but didn't get worse. The family decided to take her home, she'd be more comfortable, and maybe being outside of a hospital environment she'd start feeling better. She was certainly tired of doctors and had told us many times "I'm just waiting for the Good Lord to come and take me." She had not given up, but she was more interested in seeing what comes next than hanging around here.

About 10 days ago, we took her home. We set up oxygen, a hospital bed, full time nursing, and plenty of morphine and other fun drugs to keep her comfortable, and at the worst, all doped up so she wouldn't be in pain. All last week she was doing great, started drinking more, and even eating a little bit (okay, eating ice cream, but what the hell - who's going to tell her she can't have dessert before dinner?). She was alert, fully aware, would look forward to Tour de France coverage and Braves games on TV. Except for being bed-ridden and wearing an oxygen mask, she was the same grandmother as always.

Saturday afternoon, she fell asleep. The nurse let us know that this was different, that something wasn't right. So Sunday after going to church with the Lovely Young Lady and her daughter, the three of us went to visit. Looking in her eyes I knew she wasn't really there anymore. My grandmother's pastors came, and the five of us prayed for her. I had my own prayer though - I don't really understand the way regular Christians pray, I just don't think like that. I told God that she said she was ready to go, that she wanted to go, and that I hoped he would take her soon. I hope it's okay to ask God for that.

When the Lovely Young Lady, her daughter, and I left we said goodbye just as if she was waving goodbye to us, like normal. "Bye Grandma! Love you! See you soon!" The Lovely Young Lady and her daughter headed off to do some stuff, and I headed to Meanie's to shoot zombies with him and another friend. On the way I called my parents to tell them that I thought that they should head this way, that unlike earlier when I knew that Grandma was doing well, this time didn't seem hopeful. I said I thought she was gone. It was a quick call. Not a lot to say.

A few minutes later Dad called me back to tell me that she had died.

I'm not really sad that she's gone. She had an awesome life - she was a tough lady that never let anything stop her. She lived alone until she was 92 or 93, delivering Meals on Wheels to old people younger than she was. After her husband died she raised two daughters on her own at a time where single mothers were rare. And there was no question in her mind that she was going to Heaven to see God. For her, this was simple fact, like the sun rising in the east.

Was God listening to me? I asked God to take her, and she died moments later. How does one know if it's coincidence or an answered prayer?

Another funny thing, I've been volunteering at church for the last month with the Lovely Young Lady. Today they noticed that I've been around a lot, and the leader asked me if I wanted to volunteer formally and fill out the required paperwork. I told her "I don't like paperwork. Can I informally formally volunteer?" She of course said it'd be preferred if I went through the normal process. I guess I can't change every process to suit my screwy personality. So I told her that my grandmother was ill, and that I really couldn't commit to anything until that was resolved one way or the other. It's now resolved. Is that God too?

God is more complicated than the fairer sex, and maybe even more complicated than the Lovely Young Lady - full of mystery and intrigue and unanswerable questions. Except, sometimes, my questions seem to be answered.